urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ryelias Ryan Ryan 2006-07-30T07:09:13Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ryelias:27507 2006-07-30T07:06:41Z 2006-07-30T07:09:13Z i think i was goin thru one of my weird phases of the month. i know ive been such a bitch to u. <br />im sorry baby. really :(<br />i miss u. and i love u like a fat kid loves cake :) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ryelias:27305 2006-06-22T00:19:55Z 2006-06-22T00:19:55Z heh. its finally done.<br /><a href="http://ryelias.blogspot.com/">http://ryelias.blogspot.com/</a> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ryelias:27014 2006-05-13T22:11:02Z 2006-05-13T22:17:09Z baby look how much uve grown.<br />hahaa<br /><a name="cutid1"></a><br /><a name="cutid2"></a><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j284/ryelias/change.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"></a> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ryelias:26765 2006-05-09T15:35:13Z 2006-05-09T15:35:13Z "whaddya want.. milk?"<br />*stares<br />"right.. uh, theres beer, coke, water.. milk..?"<br />"stop tryin to get rid of ur fuckin milk!"<br /><br />lol!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ryelias:26507 2006-05-02T21:18:35Z 2006-05-02T21:22:37Z i woke up at 430 to get ready for school. lol!! cant seem to fall asleep. dont know why.<br /><br />baby i miss u :( urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ryelias:26165 2006-04-22T07:06:36Z 2006-04-22T07:06:36Z my emotions have been swingin up down left right the past few days.<br />*sigh<br /><br />anywayss, i kinda had this mini debate on the tagboard of one of j's friend. hahaa. i got a lil annoyed with the whole "using bible to condemn homosexuals" thing. so i rebutted with an argument using the new testament and king james version. ha. <br />but i suppose at the end of it all, emm's kinda right. she said once before that there will always be a clash and nothin would ever reconcile us and the ones who are determined to use the bible to condemn us. i suppose we jus have to agree to disagree?<br /><br />schools starting again. boohoo. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ryelias:25980 2006-04-19T01:44:57Z 2006-04-19T01:44:57Z i feel... weird. as if my bodys not my own. hahaa.<br /><br />i think its just one of those days where... i jus want to be by myself.<br /><br />but i miss u emmy. really alot. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ryelias:25644 2006-04-17T17:21:14Z 2006-04-17T17:21:14Z someone made me toast at 1am in the mornin. hahaa :D<br /><br />i should get some pictures of us up. but im shy. LMFAO:p shut up emm. anyway, camera cables lost so sue me :p urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ryelias:25574 2006-04-17T16:39:50Z 2006-04-17T17:05:24Z i love xan and all. like so fucking much. but hes so annoying right now cause he doesnt wanna let me talk to my friends. its MY laptop! *glares<br /><br />its officially mazs birthday today. dum dee dummm<br /><br />i still want to SQUEE:D<br />*laughs urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ryelias:25150 2006-04-16T02:08:22Z 2006-04-16T02:08:22Z I think you put a spell on me. I just might ravish you if I stay in bed any longer. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ryelias:24945 2006-04-13T11:06:00Z 2006-04-13T11:14:46Z it sucks that bucky got voted out. it makes absolutely no sense :( i think im a jinx. the person i support always gets kicked home. hahaa. <br /><br />anyway.. was havin a three way chat with j and jarrod. hes in his last yr of law school and slogging thru for his coming reading exam! j's in awe of him.. heh. i hope u get into law school too honey :) jarrod was telling her how the first year would be the toughest cos ull come across thousands of words/phrases u have never heard of, and its practically like learnin a whole new language. thought it was kinda funny when he said people would start throwin law terms into their daily conversations and though it might sound pretentious, they would all laugh it off a lil awkwardly, knowing it would be the only way they could get familiarly acquainted with the whole new 'language of law'. hahaa.<br /><br />i, for one. would never be suitable as a law student. lol. could never imagine myself in court fighting for the life of someone else. its such a huge responsibility... and sadly im not born with quick wit and a sharp tongue. hahaa. i wish u the best of luck, j :) have faith okay. im sure ull make it into law school :D<br /><br />64 days to graduation. 2 days to babys visit. god i cant wait.<br /><br />i wish xander would marry me someday <b>(even though im so <u>annoyed</u> that u deleted ur lj.)</b> and we will have a kid too. <br />2 more days! :) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ryelias:24725 2006-04-03T18:07:59Z 2006-04-03T18:07:59Z i was told to check out julian beever's chalk art and dammnnnnn thats some really cool stuff. i wish i could see it in real life tho... maybe someday i will! anyway, go check it out :) the one with the coke bottle is freaakkiinggg awesome!<br /><br />and well i aint got nuttin to say about recent week, nothing much has happened - a few minor/big things that im choosing not to talk about, due to the sensitivity of the matter! if u dont know about it, its for a valid reason!! <br />trust a mate with somethin that was never really discussed, just a hint line that it was what i thought, then he spins a whole load of shit to the other person as thats what i said! and they call themselves mates. to quote spiky, 'BAH!'<br /><br />emm, if i agree to get a blog, would u do up a nice skin for me and keep doin it till i say im satisfied? hahaa. to do, or not to do. tht is the question. lol. to be perfectly honest, this lj has been rather good to me. should i really dump it? hahahaa<br /><br />its 2am and im remembering the first time we tuned. *prettysmile urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ryelias:24398 2006-03-26T11:18:08Z 2006-03-26T11:18:08Z or bff, as em would say. hahahaa :D i miss u alot alot alot alottttt. but its okay cause ima see u soon! :D then u james me and baby can double date. hahahaa. btw, i love ur im emoticons, hilarious. u know, i kinda realised tht if u came here too, u and ser would hit it off right away. hahaa. would have been so awesome. talking bout ser, she gave me a whole packet of pixie stix the other day. man, i swear its nuts. hahaa. solid stuff!!!<br /><br />other news, rach is training hard for her swimming gala next week. or is it the week after. hahaa. either way, GO SPROUT! hahaa. im pretty sure she'll come home with medals. lol! <br /><br />i also have to mention spiky cause i love him so! hahaa. i think hes gettin kinkier by the day but im not complaining. we both know i love tmi. lol:D keep going with ur subway!! and stop lurking and stalking and lurking and stalking. its CREEPY! hahaa. ure gonna be hot property (the hot exchange student!) when u head to new orleans, so dont sweat it now ;)<br /><br />babys been in quite a crappy mood the past few days. ure too hard on urself sometimes.. ima have to call u more often to help u destress. hahahaa ;) dont act like u hate it when i annoy u a little. cause i know tht no matter what, u love to hear my voice very very much :p alright, jokes aside, i believe tht disagreements are part and parcel of all friendships... wheres the fun in a 24/7 smooth sailing friendship huh? look at our relationship for instance. fight fight fight. LOL!! moreover.. such difference in opinions are what made u guys best mates in the first place... so take a side step and shake on it to move on! okay baby? :) and aly tells me ure one of the best in the faculty. so dont worry so much! having known u for years, im aware that intelligence is in ur blood. and the riches as well. :p urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ryelias:24213 2006-03-18T04:06:58Z 2006-03-18T04:06:58Z i dont watch idol anymore cause david's gone and so is will. :( sucks.<br /><br />anyway, waiting for the fam to get ready before we head out. s funny how im always the first one to be ready. and they say im the....... nevermind. hahaa. mm.. rach wants those glow in the dark stars/planets/dinosaurs in her room so we're gonna go get some later.. toys'r'us? maybe some science geek shop where they sell all those nifty little gimmicks to kids. hahaa. probably gonna get tony romas on the way too! big grin :D<br /><br />melbourne games have started. if only we were back home, we would have gone down to catch the fireworks as usual. and no mardi gras for me this year too :( baby went for some events plus the parade tho. apparently it was a hell lot of fun from what dam and aly were sayin. couldnt stop laughing when aly said 'honey, we made sure xander kept his pants on so dont u worry k.' hahahaa. lovely :) <br /><br />ANYWHOS, j must be waiting for this. LOL. so.. yeah, the big thing here this weekend is the f1 sepang grand prix. todays the qualifying and tmr the finals. and no j, i wont be going. hahaa! my friends think its boring and completely ridiculous to pay hundreds of dollars to simply watch a car zoom pass u 30 times? i know i know, u must be feeling utterly indignant, but honey, we all have our own opinions eh? hahaa :p for what its worth, i think raikkonen is hot as fuck. lol!<br /><br />i miss the way u hold my hand<br />and the way u kiss my temple. <br />i miss how u hug me from the back<br />the way my head fits against ur shoulder.<br />i miss hearin u say u love me<br />its never the same across the phone.<br />i even miss that face u make<br />when i dump 5 spoons of sugar into my mornin coffee.<br />i miss seeing ur shirts lying around my room,<br />and ur deck which u always leave by the door.<br />its all the little things i miss,<br />and the biggest of all, u! :) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ryelias:24031 2006-03-01T04:04:33Z 2006-03-01T04:04:33Z got sent home today, flu bug got really annoying. now babys online to work and play with me at the same time. hahaa<br />j's gonna collect her results in a few hours. all the best :) im sure she'd do fine.<br />anywayss, everythings been the same old around here <i><u>except</i></u> for the fact that baby finally finally finally managed to convince momma to let me go back in june, with help from pops of course. like, for <u>good.</u> hahahahahaa :D althought its only her approval thats confirmed, im still <u>so</u> psyched. heh! one thing holding me back though is rach. its gonna be tough leaving that lil munchkin behind..... but.... we'll see how it goes.<br />other than that, im proud to say ive been studying hard! heh. cant let those credits slip away or i can wave byebye to home. babys been busy with school too, even quit his temp job. not that he needs the money anyway, daddys boy. hahahaa.<br />also managed to finally catch brokeback. awesome stuff, so deserving of all the awards it garnered :) not to mention heath is absolutely delectable. lol!<br />alrighty, im out. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ryelias:23659 2006-02-04T07:24:39Z 2006-02-04T07:24:39Z <i>j: "but ry.. jus because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.. and you're bein an ass if you really believe what you jus said."</i><br /><br />im not being an ass.. but how can i not believe something which seems so plausible to me, which is then further proved by his subsequent actions.<br /><br />how does one live with the guilt? why is it that even tho we manage to work out the consequences of our undesirable thoughts, we still let it happen? <br />how did u live with it then? did u merely forget it as time passes? how do u let guilt slide.. does one simply choose not to remember it in future?<br />cause i cant seem to let it go. and somewhere inside me, is telling me tht i shouldnt feel so bad, cause in a way, u did it too. didnt u. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ryelias:23422 2006-02-03T11:32:39Z 2006-02-03T11:32:39Z i feel awful. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ryelias:23210 2006-01-14T20:54:28Z 2006-01-14T20:55:32Z my clock currently reads 4:44am! not cool :( and i cant sleep either. double not cool :(<br /><br />and lj sucks. it keeps erasing my entries :(<br /><br />maz wants me to watch brokeback mountain with him when it comes out. but they are probably gonna censor the crap outta it anyway, no thrill. sigh.<br /><br />i miss ya, xander. <br /><br />im far too girlie for my own good. lol. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ryelias:22902 2006-01-09T12:50:10Z 2006-01-09T12:53:06Z [Intro:]<br />(Don't forget about us)<br />Don't baby, don't baby, don't let it go<br />No baby, no baby, no baby no<br />Don't baby, don't baby, don't let it go<br />My baby boy...<br /><br />[Verse 1]<br />Just let it die<br />With no goodbyes<br /><i>Details don't matter<br />We both paid the price</i><br />Tears in my eyes<br />You know sometimes<br />It'd be like that baby<br /><br />[Bridge 1]<br />Now everytime I see you<br />I pretend I'm fine<br />When I wanna reach out to you<br />But I turn and I walk and I let it ride<br />Baby I must confess<br /><i>We were bigger than anything<br />Remember us at our best<br />And don't forget about</i><br /><br />[Chorus]<br />Late nights, playin' in the dark<br />And wakin' up inside my arms<br />Boy, you'll always be in my heart and<br />I can see it in your eyes<br />You still want it<br />So don't forget about us<br />I'm just speaking from experience<br />Nothing can compare to your first true love<br />So I hope this will remind you<br />When it's for real, it's forever<br />So don't forget about us<br /><br />[Verse 2]<br />Oh they say<br />That you're in a new relationship<br />But we both know<br />Nothing comes close to<br />What we had, it perseveres<br />That we both can't forget it<br />How good we used to get it<br /><br />[Bridge 2]<br /><i>There's only one me and you<br />And how we used to shine<br />No matter what you go through<br />We are one, that's a fact<br />That you can't deny<br />So baby we just can't let<br />The fire pass us by<br />Forever we'd both regret<br />So don't forget about</i><br /><br />[Chorus]<br />[Rap]<br />And if she's got your head all messed up now<br />That's the trickery<br />She'll wanna have like you know how this lovin' used to be<br />I bet she can't do like me<br />She'll never be MC<br />Baby don't you, don't you forget about us<br /><br />[Chorus x2]<br />Don't baby, don't baby, don't let it go<br />No baby, no baby, no baby no<br />Don't baby, don't baby, don't let it go<br />When it's for real, it's forever<br /><b>So don't forget about us.</b> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ryelias:22593 2005-12-27T01:50:07Z 2005-12-27T01:50:07Z so much has happened. i dont really know where to start. farrrrrrrr too emotional, its so annoying. haa.<br />well to cut a long story short, im gonna take ur word for it.. u have to keep ur promise tho okay? and ill definitely keep mine. i know u dont like it when i cry, but i cant make u any promises on that.. but u behave okay? dont make me sad :p yea, thanks for the ipod, the cd and the photo book :) i know i know, ure rich, i get it. lol :p seriously, the best i got :) thank you :) <br /><br />christmas was a smash! lots and lots of gifts. boxing day was such a joy. hahaa! everything that mom made was inhaled so fast she couldnt stop smiling. :D we actually saw dad booogggiieee. hahahaa.<br />such warm joyous festivities, who wouldnt love christmas? although we did miss alot of people, its alright.. we'll be celebrating together next yr! :)) from the gifts that xan saddled over, its good to know we're not forgotten! :D<br /><br />to those who helped me across a rough patch.. j, nate, spiky, aly, ser. thats what mates are for huh? hahaa. thanks a whole lot :) love hugs and the kisses. hahaa :D<br /><br />babyiloveu:) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ryelias:22382 2005-12-23T02:46:25Z 2005-12-23T02:46:25Z SCREAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ryelias:22091 2005-12-13T05:41:15Z 2005-12-13T05:44:33Z hurray! new picture. got it from j who got it from a friend who got it from a story. or at least thats what i remembered. hahaa! <br />anywho, rach has been watching <u>one tree hill</u> cause greg gave her the boxset for season1&2 and ok, i cant believe im saying this but oh my goddd its sooo good, mate. hahahaa! its so dramatic and sometimes such an angst galore. at certain points, it was so sad.. mm.. kinda reminded me of how xan and i can be sometimes.. or will be next time. haa.<br /><center>"because somewhere along the way, the people we love, <i>forgot to love us back.</i>"</center><br />sighhhh. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ryelias:21881 2005-11-21T14:40:46Z 2005-12-13T05:42:30Z ure a dirty dirty girl j.. LOL<br />uhmmmm soooooo.. yea j, were working things out :) hahaa. he still makes me cry all the time but he makes me laugh alot too. lol. and about that... wouldnt u like to know??? too bad i dont kiss and tell. hahahaa :p<br /><br />SPIKY RONALDO RAFAEL PESCARA SALVADORE!! havent talked to u in years. and yes i know thats not ur real name, i was jus tryin to come up with a name that sounds remotely brazilian. LOL :p i miss u babe!<br /><br />i breathe alot easier now :) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ryelias:21750 2005-11-13T11:23:47Z 2005-11-13T11:23:47Z I know I don't say it enough, I know I can be the biggest arse ever. <br />But... I really do love you. <br />I know we're not having an easy time now, but I'll try to make it better. I can't promise, cause... well you know me. Natural screw-up and all. But I will, honest to god, really try. <br />So can you find it somewhere in that heart of yours to forgive me?<br />I miss you an awful lot<br /><br />9:20pm. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ryelias:21340 2005-09-28T10:12:23Z 2006-04-10T15:05:54Z its been a year since we moved.<br /><br />time really flies.. i still do miss home very very much and i cant wait for dad to get posted back. but ive grown to love this place as well. flaws and all. haa. ive made new friends, experienced a whole lot. yet i wonder, have i really changed?<br />have things changed between us? i think it has.. we seem to be getting weary. u, of my distrusting nature. and i, of ur cavalier ways. i guess were both to blame? how many breakups can a couple go thru, before it really spells the end? which reminds me of 'the mexican': if you really love somebody, when does the time come, of enough is enough? <i>never.</i> mm. im going to be optimistic and hope were in the latter. i think... whoever said that true love will definitely withstand the test of distance... has obviously never had a long distance relationship. because the work that both parties have to put in is... draining to say the least. given, the love itself is a great comfort. but more often than not, the suspicion, quarrels etc etc are really a tad too much. <br />he has a weird commitment phobia, but i need security. he needs alot of freedom, yet i dont trust easily. hes not good with "feelings" and im all about freedom of expression. haa. hes bi with a queue of girls after him, im gay and stuck in a conservative country miles away. haa. i could think of a thousand reasons why we wont work out. and they are all clamouring around us now.. i remember j used to say something about disagreeing and still holding hands. were still holding hands. but its not the same tight assuring grip anymore. its a grip of obligation. a grip... of two people simply holding on because they both dont know where to go next. so where does that leave us? where do we go from here?<br />i wish things were simpler. i wish i never left. i wish u loved me like u used to.